So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
