I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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