elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
