He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
