it's too hot outside to masturbate.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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