the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
