She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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