I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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