I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
