I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
