Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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