Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
