Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
