I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
