is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
