Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
