My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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