Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
