She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
