I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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