The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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