More tranny stories later!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
