just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
