he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
