Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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