I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
