ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
