you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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