You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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