she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
