I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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