I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
