oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
