How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dear god my vagina.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
