Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
