And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
