btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
