I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
