16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
