Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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