bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
