Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
