You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
