ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
