But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
