quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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