My nipple is on Facebook.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think i have herpe
just one?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
