Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
soo... how was my night?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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