My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
