please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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