Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
